just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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