its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
