DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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