I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
