she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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