if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
