Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
