It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
