do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
