dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize