i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
