I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
they need to just BURY HIM!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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