A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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