I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
