Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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