u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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