I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize