They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
send nudes
from the living room?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
