Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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