Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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