Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
