yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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