for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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