i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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