I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
