My hair reeks of homosexuality.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
