i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
