hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How does one acquire holy water?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
