im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
