blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
