so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
