I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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