yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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