Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
