I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
