I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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