at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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