Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
