I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
