Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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