I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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