if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
