God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
