some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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