I'm going to jail i love you
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
