no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
