I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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