i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
