I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
