**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pants are for mortals
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize