dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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