Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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