So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
