And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
