I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize