"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
