Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
