Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize